The Grand Poobah of Pump House

Part 1

Once upon a time, in a verdant western county, stood a small red brick building in the middle of a roundabout.  Known as 'The Pump House', it wasn't an impressive building by any means.  In fact, it belied the grandeur of the man who lived between its walls.

The Grand Poobah of Pump House was a solitary man.  Every day he would walk to the local newsagents to buy the papers; occasionally taking a stroll down to the ferry port to silently watch the great ships arrive and depart.  He made no conversation with passers by; too lost in his thoughts to even realise they were there.  People often wondered what he was thinking about - for though his furrowed brow showed he was constantly pondering, he never uttered a word.

He was a broad-shouldered man; well-dressed in fine linen jackets and silk ties.  His rotund belly was testament to the gourmet food he liked so well; for he was often spotted dining alone in expensive restaurants.  Some say that he only ordered dishes that came on silver platters - and chefs were instructed to ensure there were no sprouts in the building where his meals were prepared. 

At the weekend, he would leave the confines of the Pump House and walk along the coast of his beloved county.  People would smile and bid him a good day; but still he didn't see them.  So wrapped up was he in his cogitating that he didn't have time for pleasantries.

What was troubling The Grand Poobah?  Perhaps it was his loneliness?  Anyone who knocked on his door was greeted with silence; for The Grand Poobah never allowed anyone across his threshold.  He was an enigma. Rumours circulated (as rumours are wont to do) that The Grand Poobah was plotting something; that his thoughts were edged with a black tinge of sinister doings.  Others believed that he was simply a haughty man who had his head shoved firmly up his own arse because he had so much money.  Nobody could be certain, but soon their theories would gain momentum...

Poo Bag Pretenders

Poo bags.  They've become a bit of a feature on this blog, haven't they?  They've become a bit of a feature in pretty much everything Coyote and Roadrunner do, really...

...which is rather amusing as, even though we both have dogs, they don't come with us on our random and always unplanned adventures around Wales.  In case you're reading this and haven't got a clue what we're talking about, you'd better have a quick shufti at this: http://coyoteandroadrunner.blogspot.com/2011/12/legend-of-pembroke-dock-poo-bag.html  That's where it all started.  We've even returned since to boost our supplies!

Now then.  Christmas is a time for giving, right?  Right.  And it's always nice when you're given something that obviously has some thought behind it...so imagine our delight when Coyote unwrapped a present from Roadrunner's dad's girlfriend and found POO BAGS inside!  The glee!  The wonder!  The awe!  Feverishly, we opened the box to check them out.  Would they rival the legendary Pembroke Dock poo bags?  Could the Pembrokeshire town be about to lose its poo bag crown?  The suspense was immense!

It didn't happen.  The bags in question were black and, although they carried a pleasant scent, they couldn't match the delicate bubble gum whiff and sheer quality of the ferry terminal bags.  Plus...these pretenders had been paid for.  The Pembroke Dock poo bags are free.  Yes - gratis.  No strings attached.  (Ok; so the new bags only cost £1 and it's a little more expensive than that to travel to Pembrokeshire...but that's just a minor issue that isn't worth quibbling over.)

These bags didn't even have a picture of a dog doing a poo on them.  That must be a design fault; after all, can you imagine the confusion?  Without a picture of their purpose, one might mistake the bags for actual bin bags - leading to much frustrated disappointment when you can't fit them in your kitchen waste vessel. 

No; Pembroke Dock still shines as the Mecca for discerning poo bag hunters.  Splendid.

If your local park or ferry terminal offers poo bags, please let us know.  Although impressed to bits by the Pembroke Dock bags, we're always on the lookout for improvement.  We might even pay your town a visit to check them out!  You have been warned.

The Legend of the Pembroke Dock Poo Bag

Pembroke Dock Dog Poo Bag

Pembroke Dock; the third largest town in Pembrokeshire.  Lying north of Pembroke on the River Cleddau, it was originally a small fishing village known as Paterchurch; greatly expanding in 1814 onwards following the construction of a Royal Naval Dockyard.

So much history to be found!  We simply couldn't resist the lure.

Pembroke's one-way system scared me.  I couldn't take the excitement.  Coyote told me to close my eyes and reassured me that we would be safe, but I curled up in the passenger seat and whimpered until I felt the car slow down.  I peeked through one eye and saw a sign that told me we were on Meyrick Owen Way.  Where would such a grand thoroughfare lead us...?

To the ferry terminal.

Coyote bought a coffee that had all the depth of a dehydrated paddling pool while I stood gazing at the Irish ferry; smiling as I imagined Michael Flatley getting pushed off the stern by a disappointed old lady in a beret.  We walked outside into the car park; the tumbleweed rolling idly across the tarmac.  (Ok; there wasn't any tumbleweed.  But there should've been.)  

But then our interest was drawn.  A dog poo bin.  And next to the dog poo bin...a plentiful supply of splendid green and black dog poo disposal bags.  We had to have one.  Looking around stealthily, we swiped one and legged it to the car.

Tearing away in a haze of triumphant adrenaline, I noticed that - the wonder!  The awe! - the poo bag was scented.  Yes.  Pembroke Dock ferry terminal has scented poo bags.  For free.  Not only that; but they even have a picture of a dog actually doing a poo on them; just so you don't mistake them for carrier bags and put your groceries in them.  That would be embarrassing.  Needless to say, we were both completely astounded and awestruck.

To this day we haven't found another scented dog poo bag.  Not at a ferry terminal, anyway.  

Well done, Pembroke Dock.  Marvellous.