End of Year Video Bonanza!

What a year 2013 has been. We've been up north, we've been down south, we've traipsed across the middle bit and we've done it all over again.

We've seen funny things, we've seen sad things and we've seen things that have made us scream and run away.

We've been in castles, we've been in quarries, we've been in studios and we've been in sheds.

We've seen and done so much! And as the year is drawing to a close, we thought we'd share with you an epic video bonanza. Yep; it's an absolute cracker! It's got it all - drama, pathos, comedy, slapstick...

...no. It hasn't really. It's just the bits of video that we didn't have anywhere else to put; so we picked them up from the cutting room floor at C&R HQ and stuck them together with Pritt Stick for your enjoyment.

NOTE - It's much better played in 480p. Just press play, hover your mouse over the video and clickify the li'l cog - bottom right - to tweak the settings :)

*Meep Meep!*

Jerry and Petula at the Drive-Thru

At the weekend, Jerry and Petula went shopping for chandeliers. They scoured Aberystwyth...but drew a complete blank. In the end, they settled for a standard lamp from Argos. It's got a natty little shade in blue and green which matches the floor-to-ceiling drapes in the east wing third floor guest lavatory though, so they're not too upset.

After their hunt, they started to get a bit peckish. The trouble was that their butler, Jamie, was having a well-earned day off - riding his favourite horse (called Richard Clayderman) in Cnwch-Coch. What would they do? Neither of them can cook (Petula can burn water and Jerry set fire to the kitchen last year whilst trying to microwave a pheasant) and Aberystwyth is severely lacking in lobster restaurants.  Not only that, but they were far too well-dressed to go and get ready meals from Morrisons.

There was only one option available... 

 

*Meep Meep!*

On the Road Again!

Hello, folks!

It's been a while since we last posted a video, hasn't it?  See, my DSLR is in dire need of a good clean.  Poor Auntie Pentax has some nasty dust spots on her sensor.  While this is fine for photos (it's pretty easy to press a magic button or three and edit them out), it makes for very annoying video footage...so she's been having a well-earned rest from being stuck to Minty's dash.

That, however, left us in a bit of a quandary.  We had no means by which to bring you with us on our trips around Wales.  After quite a bit of deliberation, we decided to get our mitts on a Sony Bloggie Sport:

We gave Bloggie his first proper run on Sunday.  It was impromptu, unscripted and very, very wet...

...and we suggest that you don't watch it if you're sensitive to rather naughty words!  Samuel was there.  What more can we say.

Proper Road Names - The List!

Roads.  We've seen a lot of roads.  Some straight, some not so straight; some smooth and some so bumpy that we've lost fillings.  Lots and lots of roads.  Roads can get boring.

Which is why we started giving them proper names.  A letter and a few numbers don't give you any idea of the road's character - it doesn't tell you if the road is a nice drive, if it's busy, if it's full of roadworks...and neither do the names we've given them.  Sorry about that.

But still; it's fun!  When we're out and about, we like to bestow a little bit of personality on the roads we frequent...and even those we don't.  We even take great care when we name them.  It's not just a random name that we unceremoniously pluck out of the air - oh no - it's a name based on the attributes of that very road.  It could be based on its start and end points.  It could be a name generated from the places it passes through or it could be a landmark along the way.  For instance - the A477 is called Jeremy.  Why?  Because it passes through Sageston.  What's the connection?  Jeremy - Jeremy Paxman - Paxo - Stuffing - SAGEston and onion!  See?  Simple.  Kind of.

We've even been known to name roads directly after individuals.  The A4050 in Barry is called Derek in homage to Derek Brockway - famous son of Barry.  At least that one was pretty straight-forward.  Have you had a named road after you?  Peruse our list and find out...!

A55 - Dominic

A487 - Simpson

A470 - Pablo

A548 - Boat

A477 - Jeremy

A478 - Roy

A547 - Alfie

A4087 - Abraham

A4139 - Chopper

A493 - Nigel

A4076 - Hitler

A4120 - Helga

A4159 - Sue

A44 - John

A481 - Brian

A485 - Owen

A482 - Simon

A40 - Jeff

A48 - Lido

A484 - Brandy

A483 - Otto

A496 - Samuel

A494 - Julie

A476 - Hanky

A458 - Krakatoa

A489 - Donna

A4221 - Wendy

A4242 - Geraint

A4118 - Sim

A499 - Declan

A4119 - Peggy

A4050 - Derek

A4232 - Mohammad

A4054 - Martina

A465 - Andy

B4518 - Elliott

B4332 - Rose

B4333 - Perry

B4567 - Mainwaring

B4337 - George

B4338 - Mac

B4569 - Chris

B4404 - Elton

B4405 - Obama

B4329 - Muffin

B4520 - Judas

B4353 - Ceri

B4413 - Tom

B4568 - Egbert

B4265 - Tim

M4 - Agnes

Now you've had a look - can you explain any of the road names?  There's a reason behind most of them - and if you know where the road goes, you stand a chance of figuring it out!  Plus...do you have any suggestions of roads we should visit and name?  All we need is a start point and an end point, and we might just take a trip along your road of choice to ceremoniously anthropomorphise it in our own, inimitably sectionable way.

If you fancy taking a punt at explaining any of the above, and if you're right, you could win a poo bag!  Seriously...we give poo bags out as prizes.  We send them 1st class with a personalised card.  Just ask @AnnParkes2. 

Get in touch via the usual channels if you want to have a go.  Use those methods to share your suggestions, too!  In fact, we're not fussy.  You can get in touch with us about anything - we like to chat about stuff.  Especially pineapples.  And buckets.

*Meep Meep!*

The Coyote and Roadrunner Dictionary

If you follow either of us on Twitter, I'm sorry.  However, you may have noticed that we use a few strange terms here and there.  Of course, most of you already know what a BOF is...but what's a 'Lourk'?  Who the hell is 'Colin' and when is a sheep not a sheep?!

In this blog post, we're going to attempt to enlighten you through the medium of letters strategically placed next to each other in some sort of order.

So get a cuppa, sit back and educate yourself.  You might learn something useful*!

*This is highly unlikely.  You might smile, though.

THE COYOTE AND ROADRUNNER DICTIONARY - 2012 EDITION

A

Aberwristwatch – Aberystwyth

Abu Dhabi – Aberdyfi

Al Jazeera – Form of freeze-dried coffee

Amazing – Not amazing

Austins – Horse blinkers

B

Bappage – To be in receipt of a text message

Barcode Cock – Bird of prey common in Powys

Bastards – Gnats

Bastards – Hard to open containers

Bastards – Traffic wardens

Bastards – Wasps
Bastards - Weeverfish

Bee Cee Io Oo – BBC Radio Two
Beef Garda - Cow police
Beough - BOF exclamation or approval

Bernard – Roast chicken

BIF – BMW or Mercedes driver

Billy – Champagne

Blow job – Hair dryer
Bob - Husky

BOF – Range Rover driver
BOFahoy! - Getting a wave from a Range Rover Driver

Boffee – Black coffee

BOFroshire - Pembrokeshire

Bollock Brain – Term of endearment

Boocicle – Eastern European pushbike

Bosoms – Biscuits

Bus – Isuzu 

Buzby – Telephone

C

Car - Bus
Charts - Meteorological Tourette's 
Chepow – Monmouthshire town twinned with Japan

Colin – McDonald’s Fillet o’ Fish

Conditioner – Shampoo

Cow – Sheep
Croooss Foooxes - Pub near Dollygalloo
Crossroads - Female weather presenter

Custard – Gravy

D

DAB – A national radio station

Daffodil – Lorry

Defrag – To occupy the WC for a considerable time

Dollygalloo – Dolgellau

Dominianos – A pizza with a free photo frame
Donovan - Not flushing the toilet

Dykeson – Sandi Toksvig’s vacuum

E

ELC – Condescending voice-over artiste

Elliotts – Porta Potties

Eye Charts – Meteorological Tourette’s

F

Face Grease – Lip balm
FOBOF - Range Rover with chrome everything

Forks – Candles

Fred – Moth

G

Garda – Sheep

Giraffe – Sheep

Gobshite – Term of endearment

H

Hacketted – Severely inebriated

Hair dryer – Speed gun

Ham Sandwich – Tuna Sandwich

Hamster – Sheep

Handset – Machynlleth

Hedgehog – Sheep

Heilo – Standard Brithdir greeting

Helga – Log cabin overlord

Horse – Sheep

I

Inland Revenue – To make one’s brain work overtime

INRIX – Weatherproof jacket

J

Jacob – Very spindly spider

JK – Rather common person

JOB – National radio bingo game
Josh - A relationship of convenience

L

Llama – Sheep

Llanheadlice – Llanidloes

Lourk – Social networking voyeur

M

Maisie – Shower puff

Martin, Joyce and Darcy – Our Irish friends

Mememem - Audi
MerthyrMobile - Any car that's a violent shade of green
Mingeface – Term of endearment

Moon – Sun

Mountebank – Complete wanker

N

NEM – Mistakenly rearranged emoticon
Number 6 - Decent coffee

O

Octavia – Taxi

P

Perversion – Method of heating water

Petes – Hair straighteners

Pop Pop Pop – Error with hotel booking

Port Toilet – Port Talbot

Post Apocalyptic Movie Set – Anglesey

Princess Anneing – Masticating gum

Prodigies – Fire lighters

Puke – Particular model of Nissan

R

Rebecca – Fortifying vitamin and mineral drink

Regan – Cigarette

S

Samsung – Unreliable

SAS – Dawdling weekend drivers

Shitface – Term of endearment

Simon and Garfunkels – Men’s undergarments

Slate – Cotton

Slate – Metal

Slate – Plastic

Slate – Wood

So Long – Type of sauce; usually served with fish

Sprouts – Weapons of mass destruction

Stephanies – Cold and flu medication

T

Taiwan – Tywyn

Tarzanespam – Sleeping pills
Timothy Spall - Jacket

Tits – Light shades

Twat – To share information in 140 characters or less

V

Van - Bus
VOD – Overweight woman of a certain age

W

Whittaker – Any man with a grey beard

Wilcox – Floral neck tie

Woofing – Not quite the shilling

Wuckfit – Term of endearment

Wynne Evans – Ten pounds of money

Z

Zebra - Bus
Zip – Phenomenal display of geekiness 

*Meep Meep!*

xx

Log Cabin with Brian and Belinda Boffington-Bly

It seems that the BOFs haven't quite grasped the fact that we don't particularly like them.

We received the following email on Sunday;

Dear Sir and Madam;

It has come to our attention that you are full of admiration for people of our class.  We are delighted with this; because in this day and age our standards are often frowned upon.  It's not our fault that we have bags of cash, 4 houses, a villa in Venice and seventeen horses in the back garden - we're just blessed.


It is thoroughly refreshing when we learn of people like you.  Though you will never have a chandelier in your downstairs guest bathroom, though the thought of a heated pool in your kitchen will only ever be a dream, we think you're wonderful for showing a deep and honest admiration for folks who are much better than you.


To show our appreciation, please find attached a video for your delectation.  We thought you would simply adore to see our little log cabin in Wales!


With all best wishes;

Brian and Belinda Boffington-Bly
This email was sent from my GooseBerry. 


Needless to say, we were gobsmacked.  Not by their palpable temerity and complete lack of understanding...but by the utter hilarity.  Once we'd stopped laughing, we uploaded it to YouTube for your enjoyment.

TALLY HO!

An Audience With: Coyote and Roadrunner

In a moment of sheer madness, we asked you, our dear and slightly bonkers readers, for any questions you'd like to ask us.  Quite why we decided this was a good idea is beyond us.  Blame it on the Smints.

You tweeted us, you emailed us, you Sellotaped your questions to pigeons and launched them at us using trebuchets made of lollipop sticks and chewing gum (ok; you didn't...but it's a fun image nonetheless) and we were graced with 15 of your finest queries.

The original plan was to carefully ponder over your questions in coming days - with the aid of Auntie Stella and Uncle Penderyn.  However, we realised that this probably wasn't a wise idea.  Last time we tried to do something creative with those two around, the chandeliers and banisters took a proper battering...

So, without further ado, we shall now endeavour to entertain and enlighten you through the medium of answers!

1. Lambs are cute, sheep are ugly.  When exactly does this change happen?  There is no halfway stage.  Has bothered me for years. - From @A470Training in Trawsfynydd

Roadrunner:  Isn’t there a nuclear power plant in Trawsfynydd?

Coyote:  There is...

R:  So; they have nuclear sheep there?

C:  Makes them easier to find in the dark.

R:  I don’t think sheep are ugly.

C:  I do.  They look like short, fat llamas.

R:  Llamas aren’t ugly either.

C:  They are!  Alex Jones looks like a llama.

R:  I thought she looked more like a horse...

C:  Horses aren’t ugly.

R:  **Gallops around the room, whinnying**

C:  Time for your medication, dear.

2. What are you scared of? - From Matt in Berlin

Coyote:  Broken coffee machines.

Roadrunner:  Huw Edwards.

3. What effect has Twitter had on your lives; both professionally and personally? - From @Stewpot in Bedfordshire

Roadrunner:  **Walks to bookshelf...**
Coyote:  Where are you going?

R:  To get the dictionary.

C:  Why...?

R:  **Thumbs through pages**  Pro-fess-io-na...

C:  Twitter is responsible for us two meeting each other.  If it wasn’t for that little blue bird – and a helping hand from Blaenplwyf transmitter – none of this would ever have happened.
R:  It’s certainly helped me flog a few photographs here and there.

C:  You sell photographs?

R:  Sometimes...

C:  I thought you were an astronaut.

R: Only on Sundays.

4. Why did the chicken cross the road? - From Anon in Anonland

Coyote:  Because the light turned green.

Roadrunner:   And because the moon was conjunct with the chicken’s natal Mars in its fourth house.

5. Out of all the places you've been to so far; what's your favourite and why? - From Sammy in Galway

Coyote:  Actually, Loop Head in Galway is a strong contender...

Roadrunner:  ...only equalled by Strumble Head in Pembrokeshire.

C:  They’re both quite magical places; off the beaten path.  Mind you, I quite liked Vivod as well.

R:  And the Elan Valley.

C:  Not so keen on Monkton, though.

R:  No.  It smells.

6. Why did you call it 'Coyote and Roadrunner'? - From @IestynSJ in Wales

Coyote:  You might get a sensible answer here...!

Roadrunner:  ‘Roadrunner’ was already my nickname – thanks to an unexpected event involving a guard dog.

C:  And I’m a genius.  Wile E. Coyote’s a genius; so it seemed to fit.

R:  Is that why you think you’re called Coyote?

C:  It’s right, isn’t it?

R:  Yes.  Yes...of course it is.

C:  What?

R:  Ooh, is that the doorbell?!  **Leaves the room...**

C: We haven’t got a doorbell.

7. What do you both do for a living? - From Oscar in Florence

Roadrunner:  He brings misery to people on the radio.

Coyote: She runs around shooting things.

8. Which of you is best at hide n' seek?  And what's your favourite verse of 'Old McDonald Had a Farm'?  - From @louanndavies in Taffs Well

Roadrunner:  Have we ever played hide n’ seek?

Coyote:  I don’t think we have, no.

**Twelve hours later...**

C:  I think only one of us was supposed to hide.

R:  You live and learn.

C:  Old McDonald, then?

R:  I like the bit about giraffes.

C:  There isn’t a verse about giraffes...

R:  Isn’t there?

C:  No, mun!  GERBILS!

R:  What kind of noise does a gerbil make?

C:  ‘Nee naw nee naw nee naw!’

R:  That’s the Irish Garda, you twerp.

C:  Same thing.

R:  She asked two questions...is that allowed?

C:  No, actually, it isn’t.  I’m going to have words with her.

R:  I think she’s playing hide n’ seek.

C: She’ll emerge when she’s hungry.

9. Where in the world would you most like to go? - From LH in Russia

Coyote:  I’d like to find out where Roger Whittaker lives.  I’d go to his house and ring the doorbell.  When he answers, I’ll ruffle his beard and scarper.

Roadrunner:  I want to go to bed.

C:  Oh really?!

R:  To sleep.

C:  Damn.

10. Do you have a favourite joke? - From Kate in York

Coyote:  Yes!

Roadrunner: Me too!

11. Can I buy a hat soon? - From @ceggsxx in Cardiff

Roadrunner:  You can buy a hat whenever you like.

Coyote:  It wasn’t that easy between 1732 and 1867.

R:  No?

C:   No.  The Hat Act placed limits on the manufacture, sale, and exportation of American-made hats.  The act also restricted hiring practices by limiting the number of workers that milliners could employ, and placing limits on apprenticeships by only allowing two apprentices.  The law's effect was that Americans in the colonies were forced to buy British-made goods, and this artificial trade restraint meant that Americans paid four times as much for hats and cloth imported from Britain than for local goods.

R: Oh.

12. Am I really here? Who are you?  Who am I?  Where are we?  Fancy doing something naughty?  Are you sure you're not Trevor? - From @Cymru_Rydd in Cymru

Roadrunner:  Yes.  Me.  You.  There.  Only if it involves Angel Delight.  Trevor Eve looks like a ferret.

Coyote: I like cheese.

13. Have you ever been hopelessly lost on your travels? - From Bice in Capri

Coyote:  There’s no such thing as ‘hopelessly lost’.  All roads lead to home!

Roadrunner:  That was a sensible answer.

C:   It was, wasn’t it?

R: Bravo, Bice!

14. If someone gave you a BOFmobile, what would you do with it? - From Paul in Leominster

Roadrunner:  **Rubs hands together and cackles maniacally**

Coyote:  We can’t tell you exactly what we’d do...but there would be a very big explosion and the sky would rain fragments of tinted windows for weeks.

R:  BOFmobile goes BOOM!

Coyote:  Calm down...

R:  BOOM!  BOOM!  Make it go BOOM!

C: Have your meds worn off already...?

15. Are you in talks with ACME about sponsorship? - From @IHphoto in S. Wales

Coyote:  I haven’t got spots.

Roadrunner:  AcMe, Coyote...

C:  How do I do that?

R:  What?

C:  Ack you?

R:  What?

C:  What?

R:  Yes.

C:  Probably.

R:  I want a pizza.

C:  Sprouts are green.

Huge thanks for all your questions!  It's been great fun.  If we pass by your neck of the woods, we'll bring you a half-eaten Pepperami and a can of Tizer x

Samuel and Sybil: BOFmobile Hunting

This weekend, Coyote and I had to keep an urgent appointment with our psychiatrist.  We feel sorry for him and like to keep him in work, see.

That meant we were unable to make a video for you lovely people.  However, Samuel and Sybil kindly stepped in for us!  They're lovely people...apart from the language.  And the fact that they never seem to have any idea what they're talking about.

They went BOFmobile hunting.  This is what happened...

WARNING:  Contains some Tooty Frooty language.  Not suitable for little people or dishwashers.

*Meep Meep!*

Wales in Pixels: A Team Effort

Believe it or not, Coyote and I are capable of doing serious stuff.  Well...when I say 'serious', I mean 'creatively fun'.  I don't mean 'intelligent and deep' ;)

See - when Samuel's checking the output of his slate quarry; when Petula's busy chasing foxes through her garden and when Boycie and Babs are down the pub having a good old Cockney knees-up, we jump into Monty and toddle off to see what we can see.

Auntie Pentax always comes with us...

...and we hope you'll agree that we make a good team!

Contains no mad ramblings.  Just lots of Welsh goodness :)

*Meep Meep!*

Birds and BOFmobiles

Ever wondered what happens when Monty encounters a BOFmobile?  Well, wonder no more.  

Along with some blathering about birds, wonky-legged signs, Elliott storage containers and Corgis, here's how BOFmobiles are acknowledged - and serenaded.

Featuring Samuel the Slate, Petula, Gerry, Barbara Windsor and Boycie.

WARNING:  Not suitable for small people or those with shellfish allergies.  Do not immerse in water.

*Meep Meep!*

Coyote and Roadrunner: 10 Questions

1.  What's your favourite word?

     Meep

2.  What's your favourite TV show?

     Telly shopping repeats.

3.  Do you like Pembrokeshire?

     Only on a leap year.

4.  If you could be a human, who would you be and why?

    Ena Sharples.  Because you can't beat a glass of stout in the snug.

5.  What's your favourite quote?

    "Never buy a mermaid a pair of tights."

6.  Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

     The egg.  Because you don't have to pay 5p for a carrier bag.

7.  How do you like your bacon sandwiches?

    With Frosties.

8.  What one item would you rescue from your house in a fire?

     The fire blanket.  In case I get chilly.

9.  What do you honestly think of slippers?

     They're ok if they come with a pipe and a Val Doonican LP.

10.  If you could punch one person in the face, who would it be and why?

      Anyone who dares to wear offensive ties on television.

1.  What's your favourite word?

     Meep

2.  What's your favourite TV show?

     Wales Today

3.  Do you like Pembrokeshire?

     Only on Mondays and Tuesdays.

4.  If you could be a human, who would you be and why?

     The person who makes the pretty sprinkles that go on ice cream.  They must be magic.

5.  What's your favourite quote?

     "I know they're built for it; but I feel sorry for those sheep."

6.  Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

     Depends where you are in the queue at McDonalds.

7.  How do you like your bacon sandwiches?

    Crispy, hot and preferably in my gob.

8.  What one item would you rescue from your house in a fire?

     The fire extinguisher.  Those things are expensive.

9.  What do you honestly think of slippers?

     I only like Bagpuss ones.  They wake up for ten minutes every day and tell me stories.

10.  If you could punch one person in the face, who would it be and why?

       Anyone who dislikes sprouts.  Sprouts need love, too!