Tuesday, 7 February 2012

A New Threat: The BOFOGmobile

There is a brand new threat on the streets of the country.  Sighted in both south and mid Wales today, a new breed of BOFmobile has appeared.  The BOFOGmobile.

Pretty much identical to the BOFmobile and the FOBOFmobile (tinted windows, chrome decals, slight whiff of bacon, linen jacket hanging over the back seat) the BOFOGmobile is defined by the presence of fog lights.  Not just the existence of fog lights...but active fog lights when it's not foggy.

The headlights will not be live.  Oh no.  Just the fogs.  The day could be so clear that you can see as far as...er...somewhere really far away and the fog lights will still be blazing.  

Unfortunately, we don't have enough information on the type of BOF that would drive this particular type of BOFmobile.  Working on previous research, however, we have formed a few possible theories:
  • The BOF behind the wheel will probably be nearer 40 than 50
  • He will more than likely work in the media
  • He will not be married
  • Or in a relationship
  • He might have a goldfish called Mozart
  • He probably wears BLACK Chelsea boots
  • He owns a Rolex
  • And an iPhone
  • But he doesn't know how to text with it
These are all speculative theories, you understand.  We need to observe the BOFOGmobiles for a while longer to accumulate some concrete information and evidence in order to formulate tailored avoidance techniques.  But do not fear - we will put ourselves in mortal BOF danger to bring you information as and when we acquire it.  We love you that much.

In the meantime, stay vigilant.

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