Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Those Three Little Words

It was Valentine's Day yesterday, so we've been inspired to write something romantic.  Should we write about how much we love each other?  Nah.  How about the bliss of being with the one you adore?  You must be joking.  Perhaps we could tell you why we blame Blaenplwyf transmitter for everything?  That'll happen later.

We didn't mark Valentine's Day.  We don't really see the point of buying pink, fluffy tat in an attempt to show our adoration (unless it's got something to do with Bagpuss; we like Bagpuss.  But then he isn't tat.)  Besides, we're happy with a coffee and half a packet of Smints.  

It's those Three Little Words that mean everything.  We say three little words all the time.  In fact we were chatting on the phone last night and found that we frequently say a lot of things.  We thought we'd share our top 100 phrases in an attempt to raise a smile or two.  This list will also give you an insight into our eloquent, highly educated minds* and serve as a sort of Coyote and Roadrunner quotes page.  Like the ones you get on IMDB but without the adverts.  Or the accuracy.  Or the wit.

* Shurrup.  It's creative licence.  

So without further ado, welcome to...
  1. Fancy a Tuftie’s?
  2. They’re modern trees
  3. Ooh, broken windows!
  4. It’s good, though
  5. Second duvet required
  6. That bastard Kawasaki
  7. Lime poo juice
  8. Ooh!  Blu-Tack!
  9. After you, ma’am
  10. Thank you, sir
  11. You’re in Handset?
  12. You’re charmingly unhinged
  13. Shower of shit
  14. That’s the moon
  15. My face hurts
  16. Look!  Golden arches!
  17. Double Decker Duo
  18. Pentax now rolling
  19. Argh! BOFmobile alert!
  20. It’s a gerbil
  21. Where’s my pills?
  22. Edit that out
  23. Stop squeaking, please
  24. We’re watching you
  25. Fancy a DomiAnos?
  26. Worcester Sauce crisps
  27. Ooh, behave ewerself
  28. You devil, you!
  29. What is Englandshire?
  30. More blue paint
  31. You need help
  32. Screw you, beetroot
  33. Sign says what?
  34. Your dog’s mental
  35. Boring old fart
  36. Where’s the exit?
  37. Hide the rifle!
  38. Onion rings, please
  39. By pure accident
  40. Your dongle’s flashing
  41. Gotta be done
  42. Where to next?
  43. Why ask me?
  44. Lemme tell you
  45. Giz you shoulder
  46. Tits live ‘ere!
  47. I like Pimm’s
  48. What’s a plan?
  49. Hello, Wynnie darling
  50. Opera is goppin’
  51. Fecking tinted windows
  52. Meep and Meep
  53. Let’s rewrite this
  54. It’s a FOBOF
  55. Junction thirty-two
  56. Who are you?
  57. Memory card full
  58. Chicken and mustard
  59. I like cow
  60. Where are we?
  61. Sponsored by Morrison’s
  62. Snog n’ vinegar
  63. You complete pillock
  64. Sounds like gravy
  65. Triangles are square
  66. Nice one, Monty
  67. Want a Regan?
  68. That was close
  69. Post-apocalyptic dump
  70. Where’s the road?
  71. We love Babs!
  72. I’m not allowed
  73. It’s Roger Whittaker!
  74. Time to scarper
  75. Where’s the Zippo?
  76. Three-legged pony
  77. Need poo bags
  78. Must be scented
  79. No entry?  Pardon?
  80. Berocca bomb needed
  81. Hello, Uncle Penderyn!
  82. Too much Dairylea
  83. Arriving in Anglesey
  84. Shortly leaving Anglesey
  85. That was quick
  86. Now entering Pembrokeshire
  87. Now leaving Pembrokeshire
  88. Was that it?
  89. Too bloody royal
  90. Woo!  Speed 10!
  91. Holyhead’s a shithole
  92. Oh no!  BIFmobile!
  93. Two boffees, please
  94. Where’s the loo?
  95. We love sprouts
  96. No bacon, thanks
  97. Dirty arsed sheep!
  98. BOFOGmobile fast approaching
  99. That tie sucks
  100. I love you

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