Monday, 16 January 2012

Drama at the Beacon

Yesterday, we once more found ourselves in Aberystwyth.  The sun was setting over the calm water and we stood enthralled by a group of surfers.  Not enthralled as in, 'Whoa, they're amazing', you understand.  No.  It was more of a 'Why the hell would you want to do that?' type of enthralled.  I mean...really.  Waves with all the gusto of a fart in a bath; freezing cold, soaking wet...nah.  We'd rather be sat on a bench scoffing fish and chips.  'Fun at the beach' to us means calories, getting our own back on seagulls and building wonky pebble stacks as the sun dips to the horizon.  None of that neoprene nonsense for us, thank you very much.

Coyote amused himself by putting his flat cap on my head - backwards.  I looked like Frank Spencer.  Can you imagine him with a DSLR?  "Ooh Betty; my camera's done an oopsie!"  [Glides past on roller skates and vanishes under nearest bus.]

Thankfully, our eyes were drawn away from the silly wet people in the water as some drama appeared to be unfolding over by the beacon.  A young couple had strolled to the end of the point to watch the sunset...but their mood seemed to have shifted from cutely romantic to edgily uneasy.  Furtively, I lifted my lens and captured the incident in all its shocking detail...

The man cautiously peered over the edge into the icy waters beneath.  Had he lost something?  His keys?  His wallet?  Perhaps he'd spotted something interesting in the water mermaid or something. (Never buy a mermaid a pair of tights.  She really won't appreciate the gesture.)  His lady started to walk towards him...

As she did so, his body language changed.  He looked sheepish.  Not all white and fluffy with four legs; but positively diffident.  It was becoming rather clear that it wasn't something replaceable that Mr Man had lost.  Our imaginations started to tick over.  Perhaps he was going to propose to her and had dropped the shiny rock?  Or maybe he'd just dropped a winning lotto ticket in there...!  The suspense was immense; like that feeling you get in the morning when you had a dodgy curry the night before and someone got to the bathroom before you.

She wasn't happy.  She slumped forward, gazing into the deep sea at the end of the headland.  He appeared to clutch his chest; looking at her devastated shoulders - words failing him.  It suddenly became all too clear what had happened.  Even Coyote and I were so shocked that we couldn't find any humour.  He'd obviously dropped - it pains me to even type it - he'd dropped the Greggs sausage roll they were sharing.  What a fool.

He had everything.  His life was perfect; his woman loved him...and in a moment of flippant carelessness, he threw it all away.  As the remains of their Greggs sausage roll bobbed out of the bay, so his happiness ebbed away from him.  She would search her soul; but in her heart she knew she couldn't bring herself love a man without a Greggs sausage roll.

Such a waste.  Such a terrible, terrible tragedy.  It just goes to show that you should take good care of the little things.  A man can have all the money in the world...

...but he's nothing without a Greggs sausage roll.

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